Promising You
by JavaJunkie2013
Summary: When Sasha leaves after the infamous kiss, but promises Payson to write to her every month till the Olympics.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Payson,

I know that I shouldn't leave the way I am. I should be the right kind of man, and tell you that I am leaving, to your face. But, I know that it would stop my leaving. I cannot stand the thought of hearing you beg for me to stay.

I love you and I know that I shouldn't it is wrong of me to love you. I respect you and your parents, that I will hold of in showing you that I love you.

When I first met you, I saw a great chance of an Olympic hero, then you when you got hurt, and stopped believing in yourself, I vowed to make you see how beautifully talented you are. I had to make you believe that you would do as much as you wanted to achieve. So I stayed at the Rock, and I became the coach of four major Olympians to be.

Four wonderfully strong girls, which is the reason I came to coach at the Rock. I saw an easy success. The four of you may be an easy success story, but the trials and tribulations on getting to the end mark, would be hard. The four of you would suffer a number of different challenges, but together you all would become stronger.

Emily, a stubborn yet careless girl, struggled with showing people that she belonged here. Emily didn't belong at the local Y performed on a smaller base. She deserves to go to the Olympics and bring home a metal. She deserves to be respected as one of the greatest gymnast in the States. She needs the Rock.

Lauren Tanner, a force not to be reckoned with, Queen of the Beam. She isn't the spoiled perfect little girl everyone seems to see. She has dealt with a lot in her life and she has been let down so many times that she has built this image. The image of a girl that is spoiled and cares nothing for the others, she isn't that girl. I noticed it the first day I met you four. When her mother died, no one thought that Lauren Tanner would ever really care about the woman that left her. Lauren has a big heart and no one would ever know it unless you get close to her. But she is a very closed off person and doesn't show her feelings. When she sent the video of us to Ellen Beals, she didn't want to destroy you or even me; she wanted her dad to notice her. She wasn't trying to make an excuse for her actions. She didn't think that Ellen would create as much damage as she has.

Kaylie Cruz, national champion that doesn't see herself as a champion at all. She has pushed past every difficult barrier in her world. She watched her family break apart and had no idea how to stop it from happening. She has suffered from eating disorders and no one believing in her. Payson, you may have given her the national champions' title but she earned the respect from me as a coach and as an athlete. A metal to her would be the cherry on top of all her struggles.

You, Payson, are my inspiration. You have made me the man I am today. I wasn't a respectful or loving person before you. Payson, you are the reason people can see a difference in me. You brought out the qualities that I locked away after my mother died. She was the greatest person I have ever known before I met you. When I met you, I saw you as this sweet and innocent little girl, which had enough will power to make it the Olympics. Payson I wish that I could love you like you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be taken out and shown off to the world. And I cannot give you that. The world could never understand how a grown man could fall in love with a "child". You my dear are no child at all. You had your childhood ripped away from you. Darling, you dealt with an injury that could have cost you all of your dreams. You gave up your childhood when you decided to start your quest to London in 2012. You gave up the world of a child, a teenager and you gave up a normal life to pursue your dream. When you came out to the press about your goal of sweeping the floor at the Olympics and bring home all six gold metals' I could not have been any prouder of you. You are the strongest person I know. You remind me of my wonderful mother so much, my mother never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do anything or be anyone that she wanted to be. And because of that, it is the thing I love the most about you. So when I decided to leave and make sure that I was no longer in the way of possibly holding you back from your dream, I thought of somehow to be there with you. I would send you letters, you will receive one every month until the Olympics in 2012

With All My Love,

Sasha Belov


	2. Letter One

My Payson,

I know that you really aren't mine, yet… after London, if you still feel the same about me, I will pursue this relationship, I will.

I have never written a letter before but, I will write you 12 letters. Can you believe that in 12 months you will be in London, fulfilling your dream? You, Payson Keeler, are amazing. I have no words to describe you to anyone. You are so full of life and you are so strong. I've told you before, that my mother would have loved you. I wish she could have met you. She would have been so happy that I found someone who really loved me. When I introduced her to MJ, she was disappointed. She knew MJ, was a horrible woman and I didn't really love her. She knew I deserved better. Mum was so happy when I broke it off with MJ. I know that if she would have met you that she would be happy. She would see that I finally found someone who really loves me. And I could be as happy as she was with dad.

My father and mum really did love each other. I know that my father has never loved anything more than he loved her. She was his every dream. I remember when mum was diagnosed with cancer, she asked my father to give up gymnastics and spend the last few months of her life, living in their love for a few more moments. He quit. Just like that the coach that everyone wanted to be was retired. My father was devoted to my mother's well-being. He wanted her to be happy and savor the last few months of their love. I think she knew that once she had passed he would never be the same. He changed so much. I was 15 when my mother died. Before my mother died, my father was full of life and love. My father used to embrace life and love. He once told a gymnast to quit because she wasn't devoted anymore and wasn't happy doing gymnastics. Her parents were outraged. They tried to get my father fired. The gym fully embraced my father. The girl quit and is now a kindergarten teacher and completely happy with her life and credits my father for her success out of the gym. Once she quit, she didn't think that she would be able to afford a college education because she no longer had endorsements. He paid for her to go to Oxford. She had a daughter a couple of years ago and named her Eliza, after my mother.

I love you Payson Keeler. You are my every dream and I cannot wait to kiss you and call you mine.

Good luck in the next couple of weeks. You will make the United States Olympic Team.

I Love You,

Sasha


	3. Letter Two

Letter #2

I've been gone for 2 months. It's the most excruciating thing I've ever had to do. This distance and time apart isn't something I ever want to do again. I want to be with you every step of the way dragă; I'm so proud of you and proud of you making the Olympic Team. I didn't doubt you. I knew that you would success and make it to the top. You will sweep London away; you will achieve your dream. You are an amazing woman and you are a role model. Payson, I love you and I cannot wait till this distance and time apart is over. I want to be with you. I have a feeling thought that this relationship will be difficult and the press will most likely have a field day with us. And Beals will probably try saying that this relationship has been going on before Olympics, I still don't care. Too care about something as silly as Ellen Beals or anyone other's opinion would be pointless to even love you. People are going to judge, want answers, and to judge me and you. But, what we have is real.

I never thought that I could experience what my parents had. When I first asked my mom why she loved my father, her exact words were, "he's everything. He's the air I breathe, the ground I walk on. After 20 years of marriage he still makes me nervous and giddy." That's what I feel for you. You're the air I breathe, the ground I walk on. I can't help but love you.

I heard some chatter about your new coach, well not so new, Marty Walsh. I know you don't trust him off the mats and that's fine, but he is the best coach for you. He will get you to London easily. Just trust him on the mats.

Good Luck.

I am in love with you,

Sasha Belov


	4. Letter Three

Letter #3

Meu Dragă,

I love you dearly. Tu ești mea fiecare Vis. That simply states: you are my every dream. Payson, I have been gone 3 months and it feels more like 3 years. I cannot wait until London. Which you will be attending, you are an Olympic bound gymnast. I'm glad that you decided to listen to me, and trust Marty on the mats. I told you.

Nu pot să aştept să vă ţineţi.

Sorry, I am getting used to talking in Romanian again. It's hard not to lose myself in this language. This language is a beautiful language and I hope one day to bring you to my homeland and share this place with you. I made a promise to myself one day that I would take my wife here. I haven't brought any girl here. This place is special to me. But my house in London means the world to me. I want to share that house with you. After my parents' divorce my mum decided to go back to her home country and bought a house in London. She then discovered a gym not too far away the house and that is where I met Nic. He thought me the world of gymnastics. He thought me everything I needed to know and raised me to be the man I am today. When my father didn't come to London to see me compete, because he was too busy with his own gym; Nic was there. Nic slowly became my father. But my mother still encouraged me to never lose hope on my real father.

One day I wish to return to Nic and help coach in his gym. Raise men up in the same manner Nic thought me. That is why I wanted Austin to achieve everything he set out to achieve. I saw a lot of myself in Austin. Austin is talented and could go anywhere in this world and I hope day that he will live the dreams he always wanted. Austin could be anyone.

I love you Payson. Please be strong.

All my love,

Sasha.


	5. Letter Four

Iubită (Sweetheart),

I miss you more every day. I cannot wait till the Olympics.

How's training domniţă (Princess)? Is it everything you thought it would be? I know Coach Macintyre is training you both mentally and physically. He wants nothing but the world for his athletes to have a successful career. When I first met Macintyre, he was training for his own gold metal; he was receiving his bronze metal. I won gold. He was considered a great athlete but, he has always been a better coach.

It's hard to believe that Kelly Parker quit, just like that. I understand that she quit for a good reason, I just never thought her mother would actually drive her to quit. I know she will be successful in everything she does.

You were wondering how I know all this. Mac sent me an email. Said he couldn't believe it and asked me what to say you, Lauren and Kaylie. I told him to tell the truth that no matter what happens, no matter where she goes, she will always be there for you. You three girls thought Kelly that her whole life didn't have to revolve around gymnastics, you all thought her how to be a friend. So yes, it's going to be hard and you might want to give up. But remember Kelly Parker. She would want you to continue on. Dedicate your success to Kelly.

8 more months, 8 more months before I get to hold you again, seems like a lifetime away from you. I never want to spend this much time away from you ever again.

When my mother was sick and dying, she wanted my father to leave gymnastics until she died. He didn't want to. Said he had the Olympic team in the palm of his hand. He didn't want to return to England and lose his team. My mother understood what gymnastics meant to him. She wrote him letters every day until she died. When she died I didn't want to return to my father. I thought he let my mother walk out of his life because he cared too much about himself and his gymnastics. I stayed with Nic. Nic moved into my mother's house and made sure I wasn't doing anything wrong. Nic taught me how to deal with losing someone, taught me how to try to love someone. Nic was an amazing man, still is. I went recently to visit with him, I told him everything Payson. I told him how I met the girl of my dreams and how much she made me smile. And I told him how wrong it is for me to love you. He told me love is never wrong. No matter who you love, no matter their age, you love. He said he didn't care that you were once my gymnast, he didn't care that you are only 17. He said, I know you love her. You want to know how I know this; you speak of her like your mother talked about your father. You might have never seen it, but your father really did love his wife and son. He just didn't know how to express it often. When your father chose gymnastics, he didn't know how to cope with the thought of losing your mother. Sasha, I never told you this, your father came to visit me a few years ago. Told me thank you for taking care of my son and teaching him how to be a good man, I wasn't there and I should have been. I was selfish to think that my son could take care of his dying mother alone. I miss my Elizabeth very much. I miss having my son too. I created so much hate. I hope one day to repair the bridge that separates us.

Payson, I think that is time to try to work things out with my father. I want him to know of my love. I want him to know that I am no longer angry or hurt. Nic may have thought me how to love; I want to show my father that he is a good man. I understand now, how much it hurt him to let my mother go. It would kill me as well if I knew you were dying.

I love you Payson.

Sasha


	6. Letter Five

Payson,

It has been 5 months since I've saw your smile, heard your voice and every day it gets harder to stay away. I miss you.

You're training to be the best, except in my opinion, you are the best. You are the best athlete, sister, daughter and most of all, best person in my life. You are an inspiration; you once said that I was your inspiration. Darling, you are mine.

How much more can I tell you about my life? Would you like to know the moment I decided to become a coach?

It was about 2 years after the Olympics. I was still with Nic. I was training, I thought I could survive another Olympic tour, except I was practicing in the gym and my knee gave out. Nic told me that I would have to stop training and that my dream of another Olympic metal was gone. I didn't know what to do. I was 22, I knew that I didn't want to go to school and gymnastics was my whole life. I asked Nic what I should do. He said you coach. Those who cannot do, teach.

I wasn't the best coach, I didn't trust that my athlete were good enough. Nic said that I broke a lot of spirits that first year. As the years went on I transferred from a horrible coach to the coach everyone wanted to be.

3 years later, I moved to Bolder Colorado, I got the American Dream Team. This team of four girls was known as the best; this is the team, where I learned that not only did the athletes have to learn how to do something, the coach has to learn how to evolve too. 1 year after I was there, a girl broke her back. She had to give up gymnastics. She had to learn how to be a normal teenager. She had her moments of weakness, but she mostly stayed strong. She was a fighter. When the doctors cleared her to return to a sport she loved, her coach was ecstatic. Then she found out more information, that during her time off she had grown. She was no longer short enough to compete on bars. She had to become a different kind of gymnast. That's where I fell in love with her.

She didn't listen to everyone telling her that she wasn't good enough or that she would never be as good as she was. She blocked them out. She set out to prove them wrong. And that's exactly what she did. She proved them all wrong. She is now on the Olympic Team and will compete in London.

Headstrong and more willpower than anyone else I know. She is a force not to be reconquered with. She will stomp you to the ground.

Payson, you are a very strong person. Stubborn too, but you have been amazing through everything. I love you. I cannot wait to see you.

With all my love,

Sasha


	7. Letter Six

Payson,

It has been 6 months. I cannot believe that I haven't seen you in 6 months. I hope you are alright dear. I know this distance is hard, it's hard for me. I cannot wait to hold you again.

Pay, I want you to know about my relationship (if you can call it that) with MJ. I didn't love her. She didn't love me. We were not right for each other, either time we tried. I was lonely both times I ever slept with her.

The first time I met MJ, I thought she was pretty and shallow. She was the publicity manager for Nic's gym. I met her after my first Olympic tour. She was 22. I never thought we would ever be more than client and manager. When we went out for dinner to discuss a new endorsement deal, she kissed me, I kissed her and we slept together. (I know you probably don't want to hear this). What MJ and I shared was nothing more than a bed and a few nights, she meant nothing to me. And I meant nothing to her.

Summer and I, were also not right for each other. I tried to make myself not think about you. I was still a horrible man. I wanted someone I couldn't have, so I turned to the next available one. And for that I am ashamed of.

You will be judged by my past, and I am so sorry. I am not a good man, not even close to the kind of man you think I am.

Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you for never losing faith in me.

I Love You

Yours Truly

Sasha Belov

p.s. I miss you

AUTHOR'S NOTE:: This will be my last update for a while. My week of vacation is over ): I will try to update as much as I can.


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